Even more clues you could be a Redneck...

You can entertain yourself for more than an hour with a fly swatter.
You've ever been pumping gas and another customer asks you to check his oil.
You think the Bud Bowl is real.
Your dog goes "oink!"
You think the Nutcracker is something you did off the high dive.
Your mailbox is made out of old auto parts.Genuine Ugg Boots Ultra Tall Black
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You know how to milk a goat.
Your kids have a three-day old Kool-Aid mustache.
Your TV gets 512 channels, but you go outside to use the bathroom.
You've ever stood outside a bathroom and heckled someone inside.
Turning on your lights involves pulling a string.
You have a refrigerator just for beer.
You come back from the dump with more than you took.
Your wife owns a camouflage nightie.
You've ever worn cowboy boots with Bermuda shorts.
You don't think baseball players spit and scratch too much.
You think the Styrofoam cooler is the greatest invention of all time.
You take your dog for a walk and you both use the same tree to relieve yourselves.
The most common phrase heard in your house is, "Somebody go jiggle the handle."
You can't take a nap without at least one hand tucked inside your pants.

Three Wishes

An American, Australian and Englishman where stranded together on a desert island.

After many years together, one day the three men were walking on the beach when they saw an old bottle than had been washed up.

Immediatley the American opened the bottle. There was a flash and a loud bang and a Genie appeared.

The Genie said" I have been trapped in that bottle for a 1000 years, and as a reward I will give you all one wish"

The American straight away said "I want to go back home to New York"Ralph Lauren Custom-Fit Crested Polo Men's in White
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With a wave of the Genie's hand, the American disappeared.

The Australian said "Please send me back to my home in Sydney"

"No Problem", the Genie answered. And the Austrialian disappeared.

Suddenly there was a loud crash.

Behind the Genie and the Englishman, a giant pink elephant had just fallen out of the sky onto the beach.

The elephant picked himself up and looked around.

He then looked at the Genie and the Englishman and said apologetically, "Sorry chaps, I appear to be the wrong joke!"